Disillusioned? Or just exhausted?

I've finished my training period at work. I've passed the NCLEX examination. I'm a nurse for real, and have been for a couple of months now. The problem is, I am completely and totally exhausted. Beyond words. I get up at 5, leave the house at 6, and don't get home until 8 at night, sometimes later. Is this what being a nurse means? Really? Somehow I guess I never really put two and two together when it came to planning my career. I figured that I would go to work, save lives, and be home to cook dinner. Or, at least, to EAT dinner.  But I'm so exhausted by the time I get home all that I want to do is sleep.

I thought

Been a Long Time Coming

Finally, FINALLY, I have graduated from Nursing School! The family all came out for a really nice visit, and the graduation ceremony went along pretty smoothly. We had a lot of fun and good times together while they were here, and then it was back to reality when everyone left. The good thing is, I NOW HAVE A JOB! I start hospital orientation on June 7th as a new nurse on the Medical-Surgical floor at United Regional hospital. I am VERY

A Poem for my Father

For those of you who are not aware, my father passed away on the 3rd. His burial was yesterday, and I have spent most of the last week in deep thought about what "could have been" and what "should have been."  I'm sorry that this is such a downer, but I had the urge to bare my soul. Read on

Exhaustion and Disarray

Tonight as I sit here writing this blog for you I am surrounded by a huge mountain of clean laundry covering nearly every surface of our living room sectional that I just haven't had the time to put away yet.  I don't think I've cooked a real dinner in a couple of weeks now thanks to all the cooking and freezing I've done lately, but all that is quickly coming to an end - we're nearly out of EVERYTHING I precooked now.  And we just can't seem to get caught up with ANYTHING lately.  Ah, nursing school... the time when perfectly normal people become overnight slobs and irresponsible billpayers due to lack of time or energy for anything not

Got Some 'Splaining To Do!!

I know, I know.... it's been FOREVER since I posted a blog! But can you really blame me for not writing when I finally got my husband back? Had LOTS of catching up to do, after all!

We've thoroughly enjoyed being together again. I almost missed being there at the airport when his plane landed, for two reasons: One, I forgot to print out directions to the airport, and ended up going (just a little bit) out of my way trying to find it; Two, his plane landed early. He called from the runway as they landed, and I was in the middle of going up a parking ramp at the airport. Ended up driving up over a curb a little bit trying to get around the curve, but it was

Day 200: March 15, 2010

Quote of the Day: "In each of us are places where we have never gone. Only by pressing the limits do you ever find them."  -Joyce Brothers

Sorry about the last few days and my not blogging a couple of them. Things here have been running along pretty crazy with trying to get things ready for the love of my life to come home.  Yesterday I finished picking up the house and did some grocery shopping, then last night I had a cook-a-thon, so that the kids would have food here at the house.  I made them a pizza casserole (yummy!), a baked omelet (watery, but yummy), some cheesy ham and potatoes (out of this world!), and  I made deviled eggs for Ron.  I had to make enough that the kids would have some here, too, so it literally took me three hours to peel all the eggs. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so slow at it, or there were so many of them, but MAN, was I tired of standing on my feet in the kitchen.  By the time I crawled into bed my feet and knees were hurting so badly that I felt as if I'd been on a 10k walkathon or something. This morning they're a little better, but still... I have to stay off them a little bit and let them try and heal.

Ron gets in to DFW tonight, so I'll be leaving the house in a little while to go down there and meet him at the airport.  I am SO EXCITED about that I can hardly think straight.  I'll be picking Damien up in a little bit to come home and watch his brother for me.  The kids are pretty excited for Ron to come home, too.  Mostly Damien, though, I think Cody is a little worried about Ron coming home with all the crap he's been pulling lately and his whole "phone" problem. Not sure, exactly, because he also just doesn't seem to care about helping me clean the house or anything.  He has given me nothing but a hard time every time I ask him to help me out. And it is REALLY grating on my nerves. I have to ask him at least thirty times every time I want him to do something, and then he finally gets angry at me for continuing to ask and throws a fit.  I swear, it drives me nuts!  It's no wonder parents just decided that it's easier just to take care of it ourselves.  I can't wait until he moves out on his own and Mom isn't there to do things for him anymore - it'll be interesting to find out just how bad he really is! His poor future wife!

Anyways, gotta go, got a busy day getting ready to leave for Fort Worth.  Have a great day, y'all!

Day 198: March 13, 2010

Quote of the Day: "Earn your success based on service to others, not at the expense of others." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I just realized, Ron will be back in Texas on day 200 exactly. Isn't that funny?  I can't wait to go down to Dallas to pick him up at the airport! I spent most of today picking things up around the house so that it will be nice and clean for him when he gets here.  You know, because he's been living in a third world country.... with a bunch of guys.... in a tiny little closet.  So I figured it'd be great for him to have his giant house all clean so that he can just stretch out and relax.  Of course, Cody may have destroyed it again by the time we get back here from Dallas, but you never know.  Maybe I'll get lucky this time and nothing will go wrong.  Yeah, right!  Just tonight Cody came in from playing outside to tell me that he had his (3rd) new phone in his pocket and fell, and it broke.  And guess what? He's gotten so many insurance replacements that they will no longer cover him. Go figure!  So I had to call and have the OLD old phone activated... Damien's old Razr.  You'd think the dang kid would learn something, but he doesn't.  That's okay, though, becuase MOM sure has learned. NO more new phones for Cody. He will be getting a used phone next time if I can swing it, or whatever phone they have on sale. No exceptions. I am not going to keep throwing away our money like that, no matter WHAT he thinks.  I am NOT that patient a person!

On the plus side, though, things are really starting to shape up around here, and the warm weather has me feeling pretty happy.  My flowers are looking great, as you can see, and I could not be happier about that.  The flowering quince is a surprise... I had no idea that all the flowers would be down at the base of the shrub and not on the tips of the branches like on most flowering bushes.  So I'm a little disappointed in that, but hoping that it's because they're such young shrubs.  And my magnolias are in really poor shape, so I'm just hoping that they will make it.  I really need to get moving on finding them a spot that will be better suited to them.  GRR!

 

Oh, well.  At least I get my wish, Ron may get to see the flowering quince at work.  The sage bushes, however, have no leaves left on them, and I'm really wondering if they are even alive.  I'm going to give it a little bit, because for all I know it could just be that the cold zapped the leaves but left the branches alive. Not really sure, but I looked at them really closely and don't see any signs of new leaves or buds or anything. 
 

And I'll be putting my rosemary in the ground as well, since if they made it through all that Christmas snow and all the really low temps we had this winter, as well as the fact that they made it through all of last summer.  I figure they're pretty good for around here.  The hibiscus are both dead, so I'll have to dig them out, but that's okay because Ron and I actually intend to turn that area into an extended patio sometime.  And in the meantime, we have to till it this spring thanks to Chloe and her stupid digging habit.  The grass will all need replanted anyway, because that crazy dark green grass that keeps creeping in everywhere seems to be spreading like crazy this spring. It'd be a really great grass, if it wasn't such a fast grower. You'd have to mow three times a week to keep it looking good.  Love the color, love the texture, HATE THE MOWING!!!! But once Ron comes home he will be taking back over yard and pool duties, and he doesn't seem to hate it as much as I do.  Must be a guy thing.  I'd rather be sitting on the patio WATCHING him mow.  Something about a dirty, sweaty guy covered in grass clippings! HAHAHA

Day 196: March 11, 2010

Quote of the Day: "We are all here for a spell. Get all the good laughs you can." - Will Rogers

Today was an AWESOME day at clinicals! It didn't stop me from getting exhausted by the end of the day, but I honestly believe it's mostly the stupid shoes I have to wear to clinicals. My feet and legs are killing me! But I was definitely right, I LOVE postpartum care! I spoke with Ellen this afternoon, the manager of the postpartum area, and she said that she is expecting to be able to call on Monday with news regarding whether I am hired or not. I can't WAIT for that! Now I'm not only excited that my baby is coming home on Monday, but also that maybe I'll have some great news to give him when he lands. And if for some reason they don't select me, then I'll at least have someone to console me about it. So either way it goes, Monday will be a good day!
 
I invited my classmate Lillian to spend the night here at the house tonight because she didn't want to drive home to Dallas and turn right back around in the morning and drive back up here again for class tomorrow.  She was planning on finding a hotel after clinicals, and I just told her that I have plenty of room and to come on over.  It was good having someone else around that I could talk to that was actually an adult, and we had a good time. She LOVES Tiger. I think she'd love to take him home with her, too.  But of course.... EVERYONE loves Tiger, he's just so darn cute! LOL  Tomorrow she'll have to go back down to Dallas after class, but at least she was able to save money on gas and on a hotel, which is awesome. Plus, we were actually able to sit down and watch a movie (somewhat.... I kept falling asleep).  Maybe tomorrow I'll be more rested and ready to get started on cleaning this place up for Ron.  I am nearly jumping for joy already, and I still have 4 whole days left! UGH!  Soon, this will all be a bad dream.... not soon enough, unfortunately, but soon. Can you say.... FINALLY?!
 

Day 195: March 10, 2010

Quote of the Day: "The best way out is always through." -Robert Frost

Today is one of the last few days that I will be writing my daily blogs for Ron, and while it's kind of sad that it marks the end of something that I have stuck with and didn't give up on, I'm really happy that it's coming to an end.  Ron will be landing at DFW airport on the 15th, which means you'll only have 4 more days' worth of what I have been calling "Ron's Blog".   I haven't planned to completely remove my blog from the net, though. I think (mostly because poor Tiffany won't EVER know what we're up to if I quit the blog altogether) that I'll keep writing blogs, just more random and varied than I've been doing.  Probably not every day, though, but we'll see. Come May 15th I'll have a lot more time on my hands, and a lot LESS stress. And I might even get a life again, which means that I'd have MORE to write about!

All day long I've been thinking about Ron coming home, and it's been Ron this and Ron that the whole day long.  I took my third test in my Mother/Baby class today, but I'm not sure how I did. I found that it was pretty hard to concentrate. For one thing, aside from the fact that I have Ron-itis going on, they keep the stupid classroom so hot that it's miserable in there.  I actually start getting lightheaded and dizzy after the first hour. It's really sad when you can actually feel a ten degree difference just walking out of the classroom into the hallway.  I wish they would prop the door open, or turn off the heater, or something! I don't have very high hopes for that, but still... it is actually so warm in there that it makes me feel physically ill, like I have a high fever. And poor Laurie agrees... her face turns bright red in there!

I started packing my bag for Dallas tonight, but am having a hard time figuring out what to take. What do you want to pack when you are seeing your husband for the first time in six months, and you are 25 pounds skinnier than when he left? Do you want jeans and t-shirts, or skirts and blouses, or dresses? Hmm. I can't seem to wrap my mind around a concept of what to pack. I stuck with jeans, but every time I turn around I'm second-guessing myself. LOL You'd think we were newlyweds or something! It's kinda funny.  But the one thing I HAD to pack for sure..... slippers. There's no smoking in the rooms on the base, so we'll have to walk out to the smoking area to smoke. Plus, I just really love slippers. I'm weird that way! LOL

I have clinicals tomorrow, so I'd better sign off here and try to get some sleep, even though I know I won't. Tomorrow is my postpartum clinical... you know, the one I'm trying to get hired for.... the one I absolutely loved!  I can't wait to get there and get started! Maybe I'll impress them so much that they'll make their decision right then and there and hire me on the spot!!!! I've already had all three interveiws, so why not? LOL Yeah, I know, other people to interview.  Still.... a girl can dream, right? I mean, really.... I really, really want it!

Day 194: March 9th, 2010

Quote of the Day: "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." ~Kahlil Gibran

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RON!!!!!

If you were here, I'd have been making you a special dinner tonight, but as it is I'll just have to do that once you're home. I'm looking SOOOOO forward to being able to have my other half back! Just a few more days, and I'll have someone to call to jump for joy with when I get good news, or someone whose shoulder I can cry on when the bad things happen.  I've been so lost all by myself, I can't even remember when the last time I felt like that was. I have been forced to stay really busy during this deployment thanks to nursing school, but I still think that I've had too much time on my hands to be miserable. So as a result of that, I am SUPER GLAD that Ron's coming home finally.  My countdown has begun! YAY!!!!

Today has been a really boring day for the most part. I'm still not feeling well, but I guess I'll just have to get used to that. I had to go to WalMart and buy some track shorts for Cody.  He had a meet today after school, and loaned his pair out to his friend Nathan, whose clothes got soaked. So..... I got three pairs for him, which should be MORE than enough. Except that he likes to wear them all the time, so I'm sure that they will be all worn out soon.  While I was at Wally World I went ahead and pulled in and had them change my oil so that Ron wouldn't have to mess with it when he gets back. And I had them add air to my tires too, which were REALLY LOW.  So while I was waiting I found a couple pairs of shorts that would fit me, and now I think I should have just enough clothes to make it through the summer. Maybe not as much as I'm USED to having, but hey... it's all good. You don't wear a lot in summer, anyways. I have plenty of shirts and tops, so there will be plenty of different outfit choices. For whatEVER I decide to do. And boy, am I looking forward to it!!!

I didn't get out there and fertilize the plants today because of the WalMart trip, and then cleaning out my closet and putting away all the clothes that don't fit me. By the time I was done with that (which took about 6 hours because of me not feeling good) I was pretty much wiped out.  But I had to go to Cody's track meet, which took FOREVER. And poor Cody, he didn't do too well tonight. He was jumping too high and not spending enough time running, so he took like 3rd or 4th place.  He said that is the last time he runs that particular race, and will stick to the 110's from now on (or something like that.)  He also said that maybe he just would quit, but I hope he doesn't. It'd be good for him to finish what he started, even if he doesn't like it.  I just took him to Burger King for dinner, and he enjoyed devouring a triple Whopper, king size fries, and a king size soda.  Not sure if he'll be able to sleep tonight with all that caffeine in him, but hey, who knows. As for me, it's now time for bed. I have a test in the morning which I have to get some sleep for, followed by sitting in class all day long. Sigh.

Day 193: March 8th, 2010

Quote of the Day: "No objects of value are worth risking the priceless experience of waking up one more day. "  - Jack Smith

Spring has sprung in Texas. I have little bunches of flowers in the front now.  At first, the blue anemones came poking their heads out, and now I have both blue and pink ones. And they're soooo pretty after all this horrible, nasty weather we've been having.  My hydrangea is starting to leaf out, too!  And the roses have all started getting their new red leaves, so they'll be all bushy real soon.  I think I should probably go out and put fertilizer on my magnolias and my azalea here real soon, to give them a fighting chance this year.  I don't know what to do about the magnolias, though... they do not like the spot they're in for some reason.  They were really dark green and thick when I planted them, but within a month the leaves started yellowing, and then over this winter they have lost all their leaves but the outermost. I may have to move them, but where is a whole different ballgame.  Not sure if they need more sun, or more water, or less water, or what.  Since I've never grown them before, it's going to be like playing Russian Roulette with them.  I'll do some research over spring break and see if I can figure out what to do with them. 

Today we had a small little thunderstorm come through, just enough to make it interesting. I really have missed those, and it was warm enough to NOT have to wear thermals under my clothes, which was even better. I'm thinking that we're in for a wild spring, though, after our wild winter we just had. Isn't that usually the pattern?  The way I see it, for the past three years I have taken spring photos of funnel clouds that don't touch the ground and become tornadoes until they are past us, so I'm going to have the windows cleaned and the tripod ready so that I can do some more this year. I'd love to be able to take pictures ( and video ) of an actual tornado, but I really doubt that will happen here. We just don't ever seem to be that lucky.  Although most people would actually say that's a good thing. I'm sure they're right, too, but there's always that part of me that has been fascinated with them for like forever.  So as long as it doesn't go near anyone or anything, and stays out in a field somewhere, I say BRING IT ON!!!

Day 192: March 7, 2010

Quote of the Day: "If I know what love is, it’s because of you." – Herman Hesse

Wow, what a day it's been. I had to get something out from under my bed, and when I bent down to get it I got the most horriffic smell of cat urine right in the face!!!!!!! Evidently one of Ron's little angels has decided that it'd be a great place to go! And since the entire area under the bed is jam packed with Rubbermaid tubs, I'm not sure how the heck they even did it. But I did my best to steam clean the heck out of the carpet, and then took a drive to Lowe's for some boards and hinges, to try and block off the area while still making it to where I can get the bins out from under there whenever I want to. I wish they didn't make those things angled to where the bottom is smaller! If they made them square, then there wouldn't have been an area where the stupid cats could get in there. Oh, well, I'm just hoping that they can't sneak in under a board an inch and a half off the floor. We'll see, but if they  CAN get under there still, then I'm making yet another trip to Lowe's for some thinner wood to screw onto the back of what I just put on there. At least, I'm praying they can't. I can't move the darn bed by myself to properly clean up the carpets, and CAN'T stand even the thought of cat urine, much less the smell. I'm about to get rid of the cats altogether. Wouldn't bother me a bit for two out of three of them, and since I know which one is doing it (or at least, which one it would be right in line with personality), I know which one I would start out getting rid of first. Ya know, sometimes... It's better not to have more than one animal, so that you always know who to blame.

I watched the season finale of my show tonight, fat lot of good it did me. As usual, the season was too darn short and they crammed too much into the episode.  Just like the last two seasons.  Yeah, it's riveting, but really.... at least they could make it a LITTLE believable. I think that next season will be the last season. If I didn't know they had already signed a contract for another season, I would be concerned that this was the SERIES finale, with the way they ended it. I'd love for them to get back to the good stuff and not have so much drama going on all the time.  NO one has THAT much going on every single day of their life, I don't care WHO they are. Even the President doesn't have that much crap going on! Well, okay, maybe he does, but that's why all our Presidents are gray-haired by the end of their term. And I sure don't see any of the characters on the show getting gray hairs from all their "stress" they deal with every single day of their lives. I'm going to give it this next season, but if they don't start doing a better job of taking their time and slowing it down, I am outta there. I have more than enough going on in my own life to sit down every Sunday night for ten weeks straight trying to remember who did what in which episode. It was much easier when the storylines were more mellow.

Okay, enough of my soapbox. I can't wait for next season, though...It's bound to be pretty good with all the little cliffhangers they left on there tonight.

Oh, and by the way.... pizza? NOT YOUR FRIEND IF YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT! 2LB WEIGHT GAIN OVERNIGHT! It would have probably helped if I could sleep last night, but Cody and his friends that stayed over made my night a living hell... and then I woke UP to a living hell this morning. You should have seen the mess they made! I have no idea what the heck they were doing, but there were Cheetos and candle wax strewn all over the living room, along with trash, water bottles, empty food wrappers, you name it.  I could not believe it!  The pictures just don't do it justice, because all those little tiny pieces of wax just don't show up real well.  I had to really light into Cody about using my candles, because number one he is not allowed to light them - at all. Ever. And especially not a $20 Bath and Body Works candle!!!!! I've been catching him doing it all the time lately, and I'm about to lock him in his room until high school graduation. That is, if he doesn't burn the house down first!!! Oh, and I really appreciated the almost-midnight wake-up to him coming into my room to go into my bathroom for a bottle of nail polish to prank his friend. Let me just say that we are NOT having any more sleepovers here, because I have had my fill of nights like I had last night. And he is going to be doing some serious work making it right, if you ask me.  That was WAY crazy!

Day 191: March 6, 2010

Quote of the Day: "Leaders instill in their people a hope for success and a belief in themselves. Positive leaders empower people to accomplish their goals."

Yesterday was a pretty boring day, altogether. HOWEVER, I did have my 3rd interview, and it was the highlight of my day. I really enjoyed it a lot, and the ladies who interviewed me were especially nice. They had a lot of good questions to ask, and although the questions were really tough I thought I did really well. Or, at least, I HOPE I did really well, because I really want the job pretty badly.  So I've started praying that all will go well, and we'll see. They said they had a couple more people to interview in the next week, and we should know something within the next two. So..... we'll see! Here's hoping!

The kid has been pretty rowdy today. To be honest, he is being a LOT like his dad.  You know, wrestling around, being loud and obnoxious. Things like that.  He has his friend Nathan and his other friend Calvin over tonight, and they are driving me nuts.  They were outside playing basketball for a little while, but they were being really loud out there, and since it's ten I figured I'd better bring them in. However, they are really wired, and I'm wondering if they will EVER go to sleep. As in, EVER. But I'm tired, so I'm going to have to try hard to get some sleep, while I'm sitting here worried about whether they're all going to try to sneak out or not. UGH!!!  I know, it's part of childhood to want to try to test those limits and all, but I'd really prefer they chose some other night to do it... like when Ron's home and can put the proper fear in them.

Other than that, pretty much all I did today was go hang out at Sherrie's and help her and Michael out with cleaning out the garage. I was going to stay a lot longer but Calvin's mother wanted to meet me, and we sat and chatted for a long time. They just moved here about two months ago, so they are still just getting used to the place.  They seem to like it alright, but they haven't really been anywhere yet. She agrees, though, that there should be more here for the kids to do. Her husband is Army, and is due to come back around the same time that Ron does.  Which, by the way, I am TOTALLY EXCITED ABOUT!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

ONLY A FEW MORE DAYS!!!

Day 189: March 4th, 2010

Quote of the Day: "If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I'd still swim. And I'd despise the one who gave up." -Abraham Maslow


I'm having a really, really bad "feel sorry" kind of day. There's this cat that has been seen hanging around our place lately, but I haven't really got a good look at him. Today, though, I came home from picking up Cody and he was in front of my car when we got out. And he is in really, really bad shape.  He has a big wound healing on the side of his head, and his left front leg is EXTREMELY swollen. Cody said that the kids down the street told him someone hit the cat with a shovel. A SHOVEL!!!!! Not sure about the leg, though, maybe hit by a car? Either way, it brings out that mothering instinct in me that makes me want to take him in and heal him. Poor little mistreated guy!!! I have no idea what to do about it, whether to just leave it alone or call animal control. I DEFINITELY can't afford yet another vet bill... the animals we OWN are already costing us an arm and a leg.  We did try to feed the cat, but he wouldn't eat what we put out there for him. We left it out for him, so we'll see.

All I can say about today's clinicals are that I am glad they are over with. The morning was good because I was feeling just fine. Then this afternoon, I started getting that fuzzy-headed achy feeling, and it really dragged me down.  There wasn't a lot going on, and with me not feeling good it was difficult to make it through the afternoon.  I have no idea what is wrong with me, but I"m running a low-grade fever and just feel generally bad. Which figures, of course, because I have my 3rd interview tomorrow afternoon.  Hopefully, my last interview, either way.  I think if it doesn't pan out I'm going to try and apply at Sheppard. At least then it'll be something I'm familiar with, having been a military family for the last 15 years.  And it's closer to home, as well. That would be a bonus.  But I'm getting ahead of myself... one position at a time, thank you very much.  I'm still really hoping for postpartum, it's what I have my heart set on. And I can't help but really, really want it!

Day 188: March 3rd, 2010

Quote of the Day:  "The most valuable thing I have learned from life is to regret nothing." - Somerset Maugham

Cody's final track tryouts were today. He got selected to do the 110 yard hurdles.  He says it was on account of the fact that he can jump the highest out of the rest of the people and still do a "hurdle". I just told him that it's because he's got those monstrously long Nason legs, just like his daddy! LOL He's pretty excited about it, though.  Their first meet is this Friday night, in Vernon.  They'll be taking the bus there from the school. Not sure what time they'll be back, but we'll see. Good luck to him!

Damien spent all evening on the computer applying for jobs here and there.  He applied for several jobs with the city of Wichita Falls, plus a couple of other, and also has another application to fill out and fax in to apply to work at the base library and a couple of leads to go apply at that he will have to actually physically go to. Let's hope that SOMETHING pans out for the poor kid... I looked all over the net, and although there used to be at least a hundred different jobs listed on Monster, yahoo jobs, and careerbuilder in the Wichita Falls area, the ones on there now are all those scam jobs. You know the ones...."Make 90K working from home..." type jobs.  BAH! Who needs it?

As for me, I have my third interview at the hospital on Friday afternoon, and am really looking forward to it.  I really hope that it goes well.  Tiffany said the fact that I am getting a peer interview means I have a real good chance of getting hired, so we'll see.  I'm still nervous as heck and have my doubts, but we'll see.  I've been praying REALLY, REALLY HARD that I get it, so if God wants it to be, then it will.  And then, if I do get it, I'll have to spend a lot of time praying that I can learn fast and be AWESOME at it. I know I have the potential to be a GREAT nurse, and I just need a chance to do it. 

Tomorrow I have hospital clinicals again, on the Labor & Delivery floor. Another one I am greatly looking forward to! I have to say, I really, absolutely am LOVING my clinicals this semester! It's been a really great one so far. Not one single day that I haven't liked!  And on top of that, I really feel like I'm doing good on retaining the information I need for classes. We'll see... I have to come home tomorrow night and register for the NCLEX exam, so that they have time to do everything they need to do in order to give me a date to take it. Can't WAIT to get that over with and become a REAL R.N.!

Day 187: March 2nd, 2010

Quote of the Day: "We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls." --Winston Churchill

I got some really great, really exciting news today! On Friday I had to go to Vernon for a test-taking skills class, which they use to teach us how to take the HESI test, which is coming up. You know, the test which we have to pass in order to graduate? We had a "mock" HESI test on Friday, which was supposed to give us an idea of what we need to study in order to pass the HESI. They posted the grades today, and guess what??? I GOT THE HIGHEST GRADE! Well, one other person scored the same as me, but whoever that was, we got the highest grade. Do you want to know what's really sad? I got a 79 on it. The majority of the class scored between 61 and 70 on it. I guess that means that I have an okay chance of passing the HESI! I still have a lot of studying to do, but it kind of takes some of the pressure off me. WHEW!!!!

My job interview went well today, so I'm thankful for that. The problem is, I have to go to ANOTHER interview on Friday, the peer interview. The one where other nurses from the floor sit down and interview me to make sure that I would be a good "match" for them. I am sooooooo nervous!!! This will be the third interview.... I am running out of ideas for "interview clothes". To be honest, it's completely stressing me out because I want it so badly.  I have no idea what time my interview will be, because she is supposed to call me with a time once she gets everything settled. But we'll see. I told her anytime at all on Friday is fine with me because I don't have class on that day. I will be ready whenever! I feel like I can take on the WORLD today and not even blink!

Other than that, I received a call from Eva, the secretary of the Nursing Program at Vernon College, to let me know that my current TB test is about to expire and I need a new one. So I drove down to the Health Department and got the TB innoculation. Now I just have to get it read, which I will do on Friday either before or after my interview. It'll be the last one I'll be required to get for the school, but I'll still have to get them for work. Plus, my CPR certification is up in August, so I'll have to go to CPR class... again. Sigh. That's okay, though, it'd be a good refresher to have. Who knows, they may have changed the rules again.

After going and getting the TB thing done I drove by WalMart and picked up some dress shoes, pants, dress shirts, ties, socks and underwear for Damien, so that he will have something to wear for job interviews. At least now I know he's got something to wear... that eases my mind a little bit, mostly because it's all appropriate. Now he just needs his eyebrows to grow back! HAHAHA Oh, yeah.... I forgot to blog about that one! He was using his shaver the other day to trim around his eyebrows and had a hand spasm... cutting off part of one eyebrow. So he figured that if he was going to look funny he may as well look UNIFORMLY funny.... and shaved the rest off. WOW, what a goof! Just in case you're having a hard time getting a mental picture.... here's a real one for you. This is with a couple of days' worth of growing them back, but you'll get the idea.

I had a funny memory come to me today.... Ron, do you remember when I was pulling the boat out of the lake the last time we went? When I got it halfway up the ramp.... and you yelled "STOP" because you wanted the boat to have time to draing, and I thought you meant that something was wrong, so I stopped? Quickly? Throwing Mike off balance into you, and you went crashing down too, like you guys were human bowling pins? I didn't mean to do that, by the way, but it sure as hell was funny! I had a good laugh about it today. The only reason it even popped into my head was that it's getting warmer, and you're coming back, and I passed a truck pulling a boat today and it made me think of how we're going to be able to go out in the boat SOON!!!  YAY!!!! Oh, and.... sorry for laughing at ya. But, ya know... it WAS funny. Typical of me, too.... remember when you had the cover off the boat motor, trying to fix it? You were yelling "Slow" and I thought you were yelling "Go" because I couldn't hear over the sound of the motor? And I almost dumped you in the lake when I floored it? HAHAHAHAH Good times! Sometimes it's FUN being a blond.  : )

Day 186: March 1st, 2010

Quote of the Day: "Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Wow, today has really been something.  I got up to get ready for clinicals, took my shower, and then was going to go out and turn on my coffee, and smelled electrical fire.  I almost panicked, until I realized that I only smelled it real strong right next to the water heater closet. Uh-oh... so I opened the door up, and wouldn't you know it.... the water heater in the house has shorted out in the same exact place the one up in the attic did!  Which makes sense, because they are the same exact size and model, but DANGIT! Can't we get a break for once? Geez! This is like, what, the hundredth thing that has gone wrong since Ron left? And he's coming back in roughly two weeks, couldn't it have waited? Why do I get to have all the fun by myself?

My clinicals went pretty well today at the state hospital. We were surrounded with some pretty rough characters, and although I can't say too much about it on here, I can say that it was interesting on some pretty intense levels. My other two girls in my group and I all had a pretty good time watching all the various behaviors, and avoiding some dangerous situations as well as we could.  We saw how the staff interact with the patients, the measures used to try to defuse violent situations, and a whole lot of other things. It was definitely the most violent rotation yet, but we all made it out okay without having any black eyes or anything like that, so it was a good day.  They have classes there throughout the day, and one of them which we all liked was music class. A couple of the staff play the drums/guitars, and they have this sound system set up where the patients can sing into the microphones. Pretty therapeutic, I guess. I sang one song solo, and then I finally talked Laurie and Misty into singing with me, and we had a pretty good time. At times like that it's hard to remember you're in a building with people who have committed murder and other crimes, and been found guilty by reason of insanity.  And most of the time, they seem like regular people just like the rest of us.  Which is really the problem, because you leave there with this unsettling feeling that everyone you pass on the street has the potential to be a patient there. It's pretty creepy when you think about it like that. Thank God for the common sense and instinct that helps us to avoid the really messed-up people.

It's bedtime now, because I have my job interview in the morning. And I guess once I'm done with that I will have to call in a repair order for the stupid water heater. I am NOT looking forward to that! Come to think of it, I'll have no hot water in the morning to shower for my interview. Unless I go shower in Damien's bathroom, with the creepy crawlies... UGH! Man, I hope they can get this thing fixed pretty quick! LOL Otherwise, I'll have to resort to heating the water on the stove and taking tub baths. Which I hate. I don't think there's anything left in the house that can break, at least. There's a blessing for you!

Day 185: February 28, 2010

Quote of the Day: "People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest." -George Matthew Allen

I found out a downside to the countertops: It's called children. Okay, well... maybe not children, maybe just one child with a habit of being sloppy when pouring Kool-Aid and fruit punch, then not wiping up his messes. I have found that I now have little red spots on the countertop from said child pouring his drinks. And I tried bleaching them, and guess what? No luck! They're permanent!!! I could choke him! UGH! The only reason that he is still alive and breathing is that they are small little stains... I can just imagine how bad it COULD have been. But I got onto him about them and explained to him that from now on he'd better watch it when he's pouring things, and most especially that he'd better clean things up immediately if he gets something on the counter. I guess it's just that he's at that completely selfish and self-centered age, but it makes me really want to throttle him sometimes. I can't remember if I was ever like that, but I'm sure I probably was.

It took very little time to clean the kitchen today - probably because it's been staying pretty clean. My dressing room, however... what a nightmare! That stupid cat is the worst cat on the face of the planet. He throws litter everywhere, he steps in poop then wipes it on the floor-length mirror when doing the "trying to cover it up" thing. He ends up getting food all over the place.   And let's face it, folks... he really stinks! I have to change the litterbox in that room every single day, with only HIM using it. And I've never seen a cat pee so much in my life! I don't know how much more of it I can stand. I'm going to put the litter box back into its wicker basket in the hopes that it will maybe help him to not lean his butt over the edge of the box while standing in it and peeing/pooping outside of it, and maybe to convince him NOT to try and swipe the walls when he's done going.  It won't do anything about the litter strewn all over the floor, I don't think.
But I do have to say that if he doesn't straighten up he is out of here, because the whole point in having cats is that they are clean animals. Usually. And I don't want to spend every day after work scrubbing walls and floors, like I have been doing. So he'd better start working on his cleanliness skills!  I'll give him until Ron comes home, and no more, because I've been dealing with this for the last two months, and I've gone through a gallon of Windex on that mirror... literally speaking. And it's just GROSS!!!!!

Also, I want to mention that a very dear friend of mine lost a very close, very important person in her life today, and I would like to ask each of you to please pray for her and her family to make it through the coming days/weeks/months/years with the knowledge that they can remember the good things with fervor, and also that she and her family can feel at peace. It's so hard when you lose someone you love, but even more so when it is an unexpected loss that brings reality crashing in on you.  I wish there was a good explanation for why some people are taken from us at such a young age, while others live on until their 90s or hundreds.  There just isn't a reason, or a formula, that can make us understand how it all works. I guess because if there was a pattern, man would be spending all sorts of time trying to find ways to beat it.  The important thing is that, Laurie, I am praying for you and your family. God bless you, and I love you. Keep faith, and may strength flow through you while you deal with the coming times. You are not alone, and we will make sure that you know it.

Day 184:February 27th, 2010

Quote of the Day: "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." -Helen Keller

What a great day! It was so spring-like outside that I just could not resist, so I threw on a tank top and went out back and got to work. I spent all day long outside enjoying the sun! I cleaned the pool, cleaned up the dog mess, helped Cody mow the grass, trimmed the salvia bushes, trimmed the rose bushes, and put my clematis into the ground. Hopefully it will grow a lot bigger this year.  The only problem I had all day long is.. yep, you guessed it... the first sunburn of the year. OW!!!! Forgot how painful those are! But the yard looks so much better that I really think it was worth it.  I loved the smell of the salvia as I was cutting it, so I probably took a little longer than I had to. Yet, I had to make it perfect, right?

After I was done in the yard I came in with Cody and I watched two movies with him before I decided that it was time to head to bed. I really was wiped out from all that sun. And I still have more to do out there, like clean the patio, sweep up some of the grass Cody missed, sweep the breezeway.... Sigh.  Hope we have good weather again! But this time I'll be wearing a t-shirt. Got to keep that sunburn under control... if it gets any worse, I'll look ridiculous for my job interview, and I DEFINITELY don't want that.  So I'll be a good girl and wear sunblock if I go outside again. Which is almost a guarantee, if the weather stays nice.  Supposedly it'll be a high near 60, so I'm hoping so.  If not, I have plenty of cleaning to do inside the house. I still have to steam clean the carpets sometime, but figured I'd wait until I got most of the outside stuff done. You know, just in case I get into mud (very common for me to do, and my young one is even MORE likely to come in looking like pigpen).

Other than that, not a lot going on around here. I sat down at the computer and did some brainstorming for a new book idea to pass the time, but mostly our tray tables are locked and we've begun our descent to Togetherness. We're looking out the windows and enjoying the scenery, but we are so excited to finally get there that it's hardly much of a distraction. Only a couple weeks to go and we'll get our lives back! I don't think I can get much more excited than this, really. Well, yes I can, but hopefully not until around the day before he gets home. I don't think I can handle it otherwise!  But I'm ready and waiting. Bring on the Ron!!!

Day 183: February 26, 2010

Quote of the Day: "The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling. " -Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It's always so great to find out that they're expecting snow in new ways.  It's even better, though, when you are totally clueless about why someone THINKS it's going to snow.  Today, as I was driving back from the casino over in Oklahoma where we go to buy our cigarrettes I passed a sand truck.  Now, for those of you who aren't "from around here", it's what Texans think you do before snow... you go out and dump a bunch of sand on the road to help it keep from getting slick.  Well, I came home and checked the weather channel website, and wouldn't you know it... there's no chance of snow on there. Just a few snow showers on Monday.  Definitely nothing to panic about, so I just have no clue what that sand truck was doing out there. I wonder... what happens to the sand after they put it down... maybe they were driving around "vacuuming" it back up for the next storm?

I've been having a really terrible day. The day itself hasn't been all that bad, per se. I got up and paid bills this morning, so all our Feb bills are paid.   I went to class this morning in Vernon and all we did was sit and take a test off the projection screen. Very dull stuff.  Oh, and I found out my grade for that test I thought I bombed the other day. I got an 84 on it - definitely passing!  But I really do need to work on my math before the HESI test comes around. Heaven knows it's my biggest downfall.  So I'll be working on that over the next few weeks, and right up until State Boards. THAT way, if I do fail, it won't be because of shoddy math skills. Which causes a lot of people to fail, from what I've heard. We'll see, though.

But all that wasn't the worst of my day.  The worst is the fact that time is just not going fast enough for me.  I know, Ron is going to be home in nearly three weeks. But that is NEARLY THREE WEEKS!!!! I am so tired of wating around, hoping that news will come that he'll be home sooner. I want to scream and yell and throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum! It's so frustrating to know that it's so close, but just not close enough. I wish that I could go to sleep for the next two weeks and sleep right through until the day he lands at DFW. I have a LOT to do in the meantime to keep me busy, but it doesn't stop my mind from thinking about him. I think about him all the time, and it's making the time seem to go by a lot slower. I am so excited that this will all be over soon. I feel  the same way I used to feel during that last month of pregnancy, when I was so anxious and excited and just ready to get it over with. Another chapter of life finished. Just a couple of weeks, and my baby will be in my arms! Surely I can find enough to keep me busy until then with all the studying! :)

Day 182: February 25th, 2010

Quote of the Day: "Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts."  ~Author Unknown

I just had the priviledge of spending the entire day with some of the tiniest little babies I have ever seen.  Surely not as tiny as SOME people get to see, but they were definitely small compared to any I have ever dealt with.  Today was my clinical day to spend in the nursery at the hospital, and it was a pretty unique experience, which I probably won't forget any time soon.

I don't know what I expected, really, maybe lots of really loud screaming and crying, as I'm used to babies doing.  But these precious little angels did very little of that.   It was really dark in there when I walked in, but it was SO quiet.  All those tiny little angels sleeping peacefully.  I was surrounded all day by tiny little feet no bigger than half my pinkie, itty bitty little fingers.  And oh! Those cute little puckered mouths - my absolute favorite part of babies.  There is nothing in the world cuter than a baby-pucker!  We had six little ones to help care for, and not a single minute of the day was boring. On the contrary, watching a little baby sleep can be the most relaxing fun you could ever dream of having.  I was caring for this little baby who was a little over three pounds at birth, and I just could not get over how small and fragile they look. Notice I said look, though... they really are tough little things. You want to know what a fighter looks like? Go visit a nursery sometime. It's a pretty humbling experience.

Once I got accustomed to the nursery and was able to feel like I had "found the groove" so to speak, it was like being transported back in time and holding Damien and Cody for the first time. I think maybe God designed us so that holding an infant would release chemicals into our bloodstream that would foster an insntantaneous urge to protect.  And there's nothing better than seeing a freshly-born baby come into the nursery with Dad right there, gloating happily and taking pictures. I can't remember if Ron got to go visit the nursery or not, but it's like a sacred place.  You just can't help but feel awed by it.

There is a dark side, however, in working with babies.  Sometimes you have to deal with the dark side of society. The side that slides down into drugs and alcohol.  The side where a mother can't control herself or her addictions, and a tiny little life is affected, sometimes permanently, by her poor decisions.  Those are the instances which break your heart, the ones that make you wish that you made just enough money, had a bigger house, could take those babies in and make sure that they get a better life than the one which they will probably be made to suffer through to adulthood. If they even make it that long, that is. Sometimes the babies are lucky and will be placed into loving foster families who can watch over them. But the opposite can happen as well, where the foster family becomes more abusive than what they would have endured at the hands of drug and alcohol addicted parents.  Either way you look at, the only ones who are really suffering are those tiny little creations born with birth defects or drug addicted.  The ones who have to fight just to survive from the moment of their birth, then once they are released from the hospital have to keep fighting just to KEEP surviving against the odds. No wonder there are so many sad stories in the world.

The good news is, I went the whole day without once thinking that I wanted another baby! Yay me! HAHAHA

Day 181: February 24, 2010

Quote of the Day: "If you’re going through Hell, keep going."  -Winston Churchill

You know, you think you're going along just fine, running smooth, and then things just start to collapse on you.  I think I may have failed my test today in class, which was a total bummer. I was already kind of down because of finding out that there were so many people who applied for the same position that I did. I spent most of the day walking around like a zombie because I was feeling so tired, worn out, and just flat-out down. 

Then I got a phone message sometime while I was in class, so I checked my phone on my break and it was Ellen, the Postpartum manager called to set up a date for a 2nd interview. So I returned her call and now have an appointment on Tuesday morning. So, of course, since I'm so incredibly wanting that position I spent the rest of the afternoon walking around with my head in the clouds. Until I got home, and decided it was time to go through the mail on the table.

And found a letter from the VA saying that they had overpaid Ron and that we now owe them nearly two grand!!! WHAT THE HECK?????? Geez, like we don't have enough problems already? I'm already stressed out on losing the extra pay when Ron comes home, so I really am NOT looking forward to any added stress worrying about money. Things are going to be really tight here for a while, while we get everything straightened out. So now Ron, poor thing, has to deal with the VA from over THERE. And me? I'm just going to sit here and pray really, really hard that things work out somehow. Oh, and that I get the job as a postpartum nurse... I really think that I am a perfect fit for it!

I have seen the signs, by the way... SPRING IS COMING!  When I was walking up to the house from getting the mail, I saw little tiny purple flowers springing to life where I had my anemones growing last year. And I noticed that there are a LOT of trees and plants starting to bud out... maybe it's finally time for my winter allergies to disappear? That would be really nice!   : )

Here are some more pictures, just for the fun of it:

Day 180: February 23, 2010

Quote of the Day: "Don’t marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can’t live without." – author unknown

What a day! I think my interview went really well, but it's soooo hard to tell! I want the job so badly that I just keep praying and praying that I'll at least get a 2nd interview.  The problem is that the HR representative that interviewed me told me that there have been a LOT of people apply for the position, both nursing students AND seasoned nurses. And Delia said that when she was on her rotation on the postpartum floor that she overheard a conversation where a nurse was saying that she had been pushing to get her sister-in-law hired into the position. What chance do I really have? I just pray that it's what God has in mind for me, because if not, then I have NO IDEA what else to apply for. There were a couple things that I was interested in, but none of the other rotations really screamed out that it was what I wanted to make a career of. I guess I'll be stuck with Med-Surg. At least I'll get a lot of varied experience that way, I guess. They have a little bit of everything.

I had study group this evening, but I had a really hard time concentrating on anything because I'm just so darn tired from not sleeping well last night.  Chalk it up to nerves or excitement or whatever, but I kept waking up and looking at the clock to see if it was time to get up and get ready to go to my interview.  Hopefully I can sleep better tonight, since I have my next test tomorrow morning bright and early. Guess I'd better get up and review in the morning.  Everyone wants to meet up at the school at 7:30 am to study some more before the test, but I just don't know if I've got it in me. UGH! Have to wait and see, I guess.

I'm really sad, by the way.  I missed my show on Sunday, and then with going to study group tonight I missed the replay tonight, which means that for the first time in three years I've actually missed an episode. So I guess I'm through watching it now, even though I really love it. I'd be lost next week if I watched it, wondering what I'd missed, so I guess I'll have to wait and hope that they come out with a DVD so that I can watch it that way. If not, well... it's just one more thing I've had to sacrifice because of nursing school. Sigh. Only another couple of months.... then maybe I'll have a semblance of sanity.

I find myself thinking a LOT lately of Ron, and of the things that I can't wait to do with him.  Like go camping, and fishing. Or go cut firewood for next winter so that it has time to season. Do yardwork. Sit on the patio in the mornings and drink our coffee together. Watch movies together.  Drive to Lowe's together. There are so many things I've missed, it's hard to list everything. They flash through my mind all the time, so unless I sit down with a pen and paper every minute of the day and write them down as they happen there's no way to get everything. At least that one's only a couple of WEEKS away, not months. I hope, anyways. You never know until they actually make it home, because their flights and plans are always changing even during transit. Dangit, I really hate the not knowing part!

Day 179: February 22nd, 2010

Quote of the Day: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." -Aristotle

You know what makes me really mad? Yesterday when I was at WalMart the gas was $2.41 a gallon. Today, when I drove up there to exchange a movie I bought that was cracked when I opened it, gas was up to $2.49 a gallon. OVERNIGHT!  I don't know what makes me angrier, the fact that they would raise the prices that much overnight, or the fact that I should have gotten gas yesterday and didn't.  Oh, well, though, it seems like that's just the way it goes lately, right? A day late and  eight cents more!!! LOL
 
Today has pretty much been a quiet day. I finally got my laundry put away, and although I still have a load or two left to wash I can handle that.  I spent a LOT of time figuring out what to wear to my job interview tomorrow.  I had this really great outfit I bought specifically for it, but wouldn't you know it... now they're saying that we're going to have about a half inch of snow overnight, and it'll be around freezing when I go to my interview. So I've been weighing my options pretty heavily.  I really, really, REALLY want this job, so I'm afraid to blow it by wearing the wrong thing. But such is life... not much I can do about it but do my best and hope for the best.
 
Damien's been home cleaning his room, and is applying for a position at the State Hospital in Wichita Falls, Cody is home being his goofy self, and life is temporarily pretty darn good. We'll see if my luck holds tomorrow! Night, people... have a great one!

BEFORE AND AFTER

Before the "makeover"

After the "makeover"

Day 178: February 21, 2010

Quote of the Day: "I love you, not because you’re perfect, but because you’re so perfect for me." – Author Unknown

I was woken up at 4:30 this morning by one of the loudest thunderstorms I’ve been able to enjoy in a little while. The power even flashed again, which hasn’t happened in a while. It was really great, though… the lightning lit the sky up so pretty, and the thunder sounded like it was right overhead. We even had a little bit of hail pinging off the windows. I tried to watch it for a while, but it was so dark outside that you really couldn’t see very much, so I just gave up and went back to bed. At least that was one way to guarantee that I’d sleep in until at least 7:30!

The countertops are finally finished, with the exception of sanding the drips off below the edge of the countertops, which will take a little time if I do them by hand. I think they turned out pretty good, when you consider the fact that the first layer of resin got completely messed up due to bad mixing. That’s what I get for not doing it all by myself, though. They look so nice and shiny now, though… I love it! I haven’t decided yet how hard they are going to be to clean up, but since I always use cutting boards and hot pads to put hot pans on I don’t see any issues with it. I’ll have to wait and see. Once Ron comes back and life starts to get back to normal it might be an entirely different story… things have been pretty slow in the kitchen department lately without the need to make all the great meals that he enjoys. The kids are too basic for “real” cooking.

I can tell you in all honestly that I am really looking forward to Ron barbecuing those really awesome ribeyes and t-bones that I bought the other day. I haven’t had a steak since he left! Mostly because I’m a little nervous about using the grill, since we caught the last one on fire. I think I’ll go out next weekend and clean it, so that it’s all ready to go when he gets back. I’m afraid that my diet may be permanently ruined once he comes home. Can’t say that I’m TOO upset about that… I’ll just have to find that right mix of exercise and water to go along with all the foods I’ll be eating again! LOL

Tomorrow I’ll have to finish up all the things I didn’t get around to doing today, like folding laundry and changing bed sheets. Then it’s study-time for me once again… sigh. This semester is going to be pretty much a non-stop study fest, it seems. With us having a test every single week to study for I’m not sure what exactly I will accomplish as far as memorizing. But at least I have the end firmly in sight and creeping closer every minute. That makes it so much more tolerable.

Day 177: February 20, 2010

Quote of the Day:  "Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough." -Og Mandino

I've been a busy bee today! I got up, I did about two hours of practice NCLEX test questions, I talked to Ron, I cleaned up the kitchen and mopped the floor, I watched a movie, I did about four hours of homework, I read a little bit of a book... I actually got a lot done! I sure can feel it in my neck, though... it's been stiff and sore for a couple days, but today it's actually a little worse. Maybe I'm sleeping wrong at night, and it isn't stress like I was thinking it is? Hard to tell.

The cats have been freed from their prison a day early.  I let them out tonight because the countertops seem pretty much done to me. As  precaution I've kept their cat food on the floor until tomorrow night, but they are sure glad to be out and about.  I just let them out about half an hour ago, and Tiger has been zooming around the house ever since chasing his crinkly ball.  No sign of where Tiny disappeared to, so I have no idea what he's up to. Mika is pacing the house crying because I won't give her canned food. I'm so mean!!!  She keeps going back into the bedroom because she just knows that Tiny gets his canned food in my bathroom and it's just not fair because she's the princess, and she should get her very own can too, and doesn't she deserve it for putting up with the two guys, and how can I be so mean to her, and on and on and on it goes.  You'd honestly think she was going to die if I didn't feed her a can right this very second! What a spoiled little brat! LOL

Cody came back from his church thing tonight sick to his stomach. He evidently learned a valuable lesson... you just can't go thirty hours fasting and then expect to be able to pig out on four plates full of food... your stomach is going to rebel against it. BIG time.  But he had a lot of fun, and after about an hour he was feeling better. At least he didn't get sick or anything.  I don't think he'll want to try the fasting business again any time soon, but on the way home he regaled me with stories of how in Ethiopia most people can't read, and they drink the same water they wash their feet and bodies in, and on and on.   So at least some of the information he was MEANT to learn he remembered. I was really wondering if that would be the case, or if he would only concentrate on the fun and games part of it.  So I guess you can say I am a little impressed by him tonight.
Tomorrow I have to get up and get right to folding and putting away laundry, and vacuuming and dusting, so that I can get started again on homework. Maybe I can mow the yard, if it's warm enough tomorrow. Who knows, though, with the way the weather has been all crazy lately.  I think I may go up into the attic and change the A/C filter, too, maybe that will help with some of the sinus problems we've all been having. Well, Cody and I anyways... Damien is just never home anymore. I'm about to go buy him a box of trash bags for his room, though... I had to go in there today to get water to mop with because I can't get the counter wet yet, and his bathroom floor is full of dirty clothes. And there's hair on the sink from where he's cut his hair, and hair in the tub from getting clogged in the drain... and I don't even want to KNOW what all else there is in that pit... I quit looking. Boys are soooo gross!!!! God save me, please, from their disgusting laziness!  I'm seriously going to take away everything but clothes out of BOTH their rooms pretty soon. THAT will teach them to clean up after themselves. Or just make extra work for me, because they won't care either way. You just can't win with teenagers.  That's why God made sex so great... if people didn't get enjoyment from it, no one in their right minds would EVER choose to have kids.

Quote of the Day: "What is love…. But a friend who has remained beside me and never once removed his hand." – Hugh Prather

I cannot believe I forgot again!!! Oh, well, it's not like it hasn't been a crazy busy week or anything, what with having something school related every single day. Yesterday was my mother/baby clinical, and I really enjoyed it a lot.... I thought I blogged about it, to be honest with you, but I guess I didn't. Anyways, I had pediatrics, which were interesting to say the least. Not my cup of tea, though, I don't think. Something about the little ones being sick, and dealing with parents. I'll be much happier working with the new parents.  I did learn to use some new equipment while I was there, and  assisted with blood draws for cultures. It was an enjoyable day.  Then, when I got home I immediately started working on the kitchen countertops, since I already had them all taped up and ready to go.  I figured that if I got them done a day early they would be DONE a day early, so now they're all finished and curing. And I checked them this morning, and the good news is that THIS time there aren't any spots which aren't curing. Every part of the countertops are already hard on the surface, so by Sunday night I'll be able to put the kitchen back together and put some pictures on here for you.  Which is a good thing, because I have been going CRAZY with having the cats locked up in my bedroom this whole time... and I'm sure they aren't doing much better.

I had a test-taking skills class in Vernon today, where they try to tell you some of the ways to look at nursing questions and get the right answer.  I know a lot of  you haven't seen what a nursing question for the nursing boards looks like, so here's a sample:
    "After a suprapubic prostatectomy, the nurse understands that a client's plan of care must
     include the prevention of postoperative deep vein thrombosis.  This can best be achieved
     by increasing the:
            a. Coagulability of the blood
            b. Velocity of the venous return
            c. Effectiveness of internal respiration
            d. Oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood"

Can you see my dilemma? All my life I've taken tests that test you on what you know, and the nursing questions are designed to test you on how you would APPLY what you know. It's a whole new game, and I'm still getting used to it.  But I'm getting there, and hopefully by the time our HESI test comes around, or the NCLEX-RN, I'll be fully ready for it.  We also have another class next week for the same thing, so I'm sure it'll help at least a little. Have to do SOMETHING to get it through my head! LOL  I just hope that I didn't come this far only to fall down on the last lap... I need strength! HAHAHA

After my class, I went and got my hair done, and MAN, do I love it!!!! Liz does a great job, and I am supremely happy with the way it turned out... I have highlights now! What do you think?

I am loving it! LOL 

Day 174: February 17, 2010

Quote of the Day: "The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person." – V. Putnam

Oh, man, am I tired, again. Classes today went pretty well. I had my first psych test, and got an 83 on it. Which is not bad for the short amount of time I had to study for it. I was expecting a lot worse.  There were a lot of really strangely worded questions on it. And let's face it... mental health is NOT one of my best subjects. There's too much objectivity and too many variables for me to be comfortable with it.  Too many gray areas.  I really enjoy learning about everything, and the clinicals are awesome, but I think that it would take more than just a week or two of studying for each test for me to truly have the time to grasp all the small details.  There are too many similarities in the various disorders, and we have to learn how each individual culture views each disorder, or if they even consider them a disorder. Man, it's a lot to take in when you're sleep deprived!

Tomorrow I have my first pediatric clinical, and I'm a little nervous about it because I have no idea what it's going to be like. The patients can be months old all the way up to 18.   Everyone who's been to it so far either loves it or hates it, so we'll see what happens tomorrow.  It can't be that much different than dealing with my own kids, right? Except that there's a parent breathing down your neck! LOL  Oh, well, I've been on the hospitalized kid side of it, so now I'll be on the other side and see what it's like. I can tell you that now I understand why the nurses rarely came into the rooms when we were in the hospital. They're too darn busy! LOL

I just realized something today... I am going to be the same age when I graduate from nursing school as my mother was when she graduated from Southwestern Medical Academy.  I can still remember her going to school. It's kind of funny how I thought she was SOOO OLD, and now here I am doing the same thing.  TOO funny! I guess I really am old, then! LOL

Day 173: February 16, 2010

Quote of the Day: "No matter how steep the mountain - the Lord is going to climb it with you."  - Helen Steiner Rice

Today is not a good day. Well, it was a good day as far as not much going wrong, but I've been in a complete funk all day. And SOMEONE got on my laptop today while I was gone, and used an SD card to open up all sorts of bull%#*@ things on here, which I am HIGHLY ticked off about! It was pornographic, and NOT at all the good kind. I would love to get ahold of whichever of my two little idiots that did it and knock the tar out of them. But of course, Not Me reigned supreme, and I have no way of proving which one of them did it and which one didn't.  I'm about to spend thousands of dollars on a damn video surveillance system for this house so I can find out who Not Me is and put the fear of ME in him. Nothing makes you feel more violated than someone going into your personal space and using YOUR things, in an inappropriate manner and without permission!
 
Other than that, things are just getting to me lately. I have no idea why, but I'm just so damn tired all the time now, like I haven't slept in a week. I'm averaging about four hours a day where I actually feel awake and can focus, and the rest of the time I could easily lay down and fall right to sleep. I think my quality of sleep has suffered quite a bit lately, and although I'm in bed long enough I just don't ever feel rested. I have been tossing around the idea of having a sleep study done, but gee... when would I ever have that chance? Not until MAY at the earliest. I hate the fact that so much of my life is taken up by school. I resent that I don't even have the time to clean up the house anymore, or do the laundry. I have to fit it into little 15 minute segments here and there, so as you can imagine NOTHING is ever done, and no room is EVER clean. I really hate it! I'm not the kind of person who enjoys living in filth, and yet I have a sink that is full to capacity with dirty dishes with no time to take care of it. And God knows that I can't depend on my worthless children to help me with it, they're too busy playing around and being self-centered. Oh, yeah... and looking at porn on my damn laptop!
 
I'd better say something positive or you'll think that there was NOTHING good about today at all. I did call the Human Resources at United Regional back, and I have an interview set up for Tuesday with them, which I am looking forward to. So that was good.  Incidentally, I found out something interesting today... I had a spare key made to my car at Lowe's today (thanks to mine getting lost), and found that it will open the door and start the car.... but the car will start, then idle for two seconds, then die. My regular key works fine. So what's up with that???? Is that a safety feature or something? Do you have to go directly to the dealership to get a key that works, and pay five times as much? What the heck???  Oh, and in honor of Ron coming home, I made a hair appointment for Friday.  That should be good. And Tiny went to the vet today for his follow-up, and she says he looks great and has gained a pound back. So yay, Tiny. Way to go on the getting better. Now quit peeing on the dog bed when there's a completely clean litter box just two feet from it, would you please??? Geez!

Day 172: February 15, 2010

Quote of the Day: "It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember that job I applied for at the hospital on Friday?  Imagine my surprise when I left clinicals today and had a voicemail from the Human Resources department asking for me to call her back! Already! I was prepared to have to wait a month or two like the last time I applied at the hospital, and was floored to have already been called. I was so excited afterward that I pretty much drove home from clinicals on cloud nine! The way I see it, even if I don't get the position I have actually taken the first step toward my new nursing career! I am a little nervous about it, because I am going into it having no nursing experience as an RN other than my clinical rotations, which are good experience but aren't truly a J-O-B, and am not sure what steps to take. My biggest concern is that I just don't know what to expect at an interview. I'm hoping that having good prior work history on my other jobs will help me out. One other problem is that my resume was stored on the hospital's online system, from the last job I applied for there, and it was prior to my working as a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) at Texas Specialty Hospital.  I tried to update it several times with the new job info, but it kept reverting to the prior version and wouldn't take the new employment info. So I'm going to have to take an updated resume with me to any interview I go on, and explain that it would not let me update it. I'm hoping that doesn't end up leaving a bad impression, but we'll see what happens, right?  Wish me lots of luck... I REALLY want this particular job.  I'd even be willing to forego my trip to Reno we've had planned for over a year if it meant the difference between getting the position or being skipped over! And that is BIG, my friends, BIG. Since I've been so looking forward to that trip, and all.

My clinicals today went really well again, too. I didn't even realize that today is a holiday until we were driving to Vernon and saw all the American flags out.  That's not normally a problem, except that at the State Hospital they short-staff on federal holidays. So the patients all stayed on their subs all day and didn't get to go out and about to the day room or classes, which would have made it to where we could have had more interaction with them. It worked out okay, though, because we were able to see a lot of the "behind the scenes" things that go on, like the passing out of medications, the way things are run, and things like that. We did get to interact with quite a few patients, but not enough to say that it was a worthwhile day for mental health observation.  The patient interactions we DID have, though, were pretty good. We got to read a lot of the charts, and that was interesting in and of itself.  It's funny how nearly everyone will give you a different story of why they're there than what is in the chart!!!  Someone could be there for aggravated assault, and be there for "a misunderstanding." It's really interesting how many different ways they have of coping with their issues. And denial, too... though we all have that problem!

Oh, and did I tell you I learned something about myself today? I'm totally clueless sometimes! Well, I knew that, but it hit me in the face today that it isn't always a good thing.  See, it was dinnertime, and all the patients are called according to their badge color to dinner, and I was standing just inside the dining room door, talking to one of the workers. And this one patient, a really tall (taller than Ron tall) guy, came literally running from the other side of the day room when his name was called, chanting "Yums, yums, yums" or something like that. Well, he didn't really STOP running, he just ran right past the worker, grabbing his meal card as he went, and didn't stop until he was about a foot in front of me, and leaned over my head to get some hand sanitizer from a cabinet behind me.  It didn't really even hit me until he was walking over to the food line that had he been intent on doing bodily injury I wouldn't have even realized it. Well, maybe I would have, if it weren't for the fact that I knew everyone was ready to eat, and there hadn't been any signs of agression.  But he was REAL tall, so he probably could have snapped me like a twig. And it would have been my fault.  Guess I can't help it that I'm a trusting person. I'd have to watch my back really, really well if I got a job somewhere like that.