Day 100: December 5th, 2009

Quote of the Day:

"Walking, working, barely breathing

My thoughts, far away-

Heart aching, mind racing-

Sleep does not come easily, nor last long...."

~Peter Winstanley

I'm having a really hard day today. Well, mostly tonight, I suppose. It doesn't help that I am alone again, just sitting and moping around the computer wishing that there was something besides cleaning to do.  Cody left around six to go spend the night with his friend Nathan who lives out in the country, and Damien is still over at his friends Kim and Devin's, where he has been most of the week.  And that leaves just me, in a big old house with just cats for company, and the dogs if I can force them to stay inside.  It wasn't too bad, until I went to write tonight's blog, and had to type those three little numbers at the top as the title... 100.  They're the lowest numbers there could possibly be.  A one, and a couple of zeros. So insignificant. Until you put them together, in that order, and your heart does this painful little flop as you begin to realize just how long you have really been apart from the one person in the whole world who means the most to you.  It's kind of funny how 99 did not bother me at all, but that 100 just threw me for a loop.  I felt the same as I did the other day when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and had a bad moment when I was putting up four stockings while thinking about how only three of us were here this time around.  I am tough, I know, but those times that take you by surprise are the ones that hurt the most. I can't wait until this whole mess is OVER!!!!

I found that postcard that I was so stressed out over finding, it was stuffed in with some customs forms that I have in the kitchen to fill out to mail Ron his packages. I don't know how they got in there, it must have happened when I was clearing the table to serve Thanksgiving dinner. Not sure, exactly. But it was quite a relief to find it, because that means that everything will be fine and nothing will get in the way of me getting into classes next semester and graduating. BIG sigh of relief, because that potentially could have held me up in registering which would mean that I would have to wait a whole year to finish nursing school.  So yes, I am VERY HAPPY that I found it.  Now if only I could find that stupid Lists book as easily....

I think tomorrow if the weather is decent I'm going to go outside and start putting up all the yard lights. I really don't want to, because I have this mental image of Ron crouched down in the yard ALL DAY LONG, literally, putting the spikes in the ground and having to set up those lights just right in order to get them to fit and look good, and it seems pretty intimidating. But I know that he ( and probably some of the neighbors ) would be disappointed if I did not at least make an effort, so I'm going to do it anyways. But when I get to the roof lights.... if I fall off that ladder there are going to be some SERIOUS consequences!!!!!! LOL  I may have to come up with some sort of plan or invention that will make it to where you can just pop the lights up there on a board or something with a hook at either end of the roof, so that it won't take more than ten minutes or so to do the whole front of the house.  Maybe that would be a good idea anyways.  I brought up that idea last year to Ron, but he said that he prefers to do it the old-fashioned way... I guess he feels that it makes a difference on how they look.  Me personally, I think that the less time you have to spend on that part of it, the more creative you can be with the other parts.  Just a thought... I know everyone has a different way of doing things. I'll bet, though, if I started going out there with him every year and decorated with him, we could REALLY have a snazzy yard! I'm big on doing treetops, tree trunks, and pretty much everything out there, whereas Ron is more traditional and prefers rooftop and bushes, and now the yard border that everyone in our neighborhood does.  If you mix the two of us together, WATCH OUT!!!! GORGEOUS HOLIDAY LIGHTS IN PROGRESS!!! LOL

I do promise to take pictures when I'm done, though.  It should at least look good on HERE, right?

Oh, and just as a little taste of what I have to try and match... here's some pictures of the awesome job Ron did last year... a hard act to follow!

Day 99: December 4th, 2009

Quote of the Day: "May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand." ~Irish Blessing
I can’t find my “List Book”! I have looked EVERYWHERE, and it is just not anywhere that I can find it! I wouldn’t mind so much, except that it has a list in there of all the things I wanted to get done over Christmas break, and now I can’t remember what all was on there because I wrote it all down so that I DIDN’T have to remember! UGH!!! I can’t believe that it’s missing, but isn’t just like me… to forget where I put the thing I started to help me keep from forgetting things. Dang, I can be such a dork sometimes! Now I’ll have to spend a ton of time looking for the stupid thing, and it’ll take away from a lot of the things which I had wanted to get done. Sigh. I guess it’s just going to be one less thing I get finished, if I can’t get it found here pretty quickly.

I was wondering… could the fact that children in the 1800s were so willing to help their parents and respectful stem from not only the use of corporal punishment, but also from the fact that there were a lot fewer children around to be a bad influence? It seems like Cody just keeps getting worse and worse, toward me and just in general. He gets disrespectful, belligerent, mean, and insensitive all the time now. He has no respect for people or property, and does not care in the least that he has made life so difficult for everyone else. I really and truly hope that this is simply just a teenage thing, and that he’ll grow out of it. Because he keeps yelling and screaming about “I’ll just run away!” whenever I try to correct him in any way or make him do any chores. At this point, I’m starting to wish that he would, just so that he could fall on his face and learn some respect. He has no idea how much the things he does influences the lives of everyone around him, and just takes it for granted that the world owes him everything. I shall call him Mini-Damien.

You know, I'm getting horrible at doing the blog. I had this already mostly written by two in the afternoon yesterday, and then realized that my card from the Texas Board of Nursing that says I have been approved for security clearance is missing, and it's due before I can register for classes. I am FREAKING OUT!!!! I had it on the table next to my chair in the living room, and now it's not there... I think I vaguely remember moving it so that it wouldn't get lost (hahaha, joke's on me) but now I can't find it anywhere. So now I get to tear the house apart to find it! LOL Wish me luck!

Day 98: December 3rd, 2009

Quote of the Day: "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength." - Frances de Sales

Just because I'm sure you're wondering, I didn't write a blog last night because I got to talk to Ron on the phone instead. It was great to hear him, even though we got interrupted twice and he ended up having to call back both times.  It'll be even better to hear his voice in person!

This was the last clinical day for this semester... no more classes, no more clinicals! Now I just have the final exam on Monday, and it's time off for the whole rest of December... and part of January!!!! Yeah, it'll be cold out so we can't do any camping or anything, but I have plenty of other things that I have planned to keep me busy and entertained.  We'll see what I can and can't accomplish in that short time.  I can't really go into all the fun details because some things are meant to be a surprise, but a lot of it is girly stuff like scrapbooking and things like that.  I can't wait to get started!  Oh, yeah... I forgot. I have to put up Christmas lights before I can do anything fun. Oh, well. There'll still be time.

We had a guest speaker at clinicals today talking about chemotherapy and oncology nursing, and it was a really, really great lecture. I am probably one of the very few people who found it interesting, but that's okay.  There's not much about nursing that I HAVEN'T found interesting so far.  It did start me thinking, though... what part of nursing would I be most interested in?  I have no idea, and it really worries me because I only have a few short months to figure it out! UGH! There are just so many different areas to nursing, so many different things to do. Research... Obstetrics... Trauma... Med-Surg.... grr! I've got NO IDEA what would best suit me.  I'm not interested in critical care nursing, at least not here in Wichita Falls, and haven't yet done any kind of Obstetrics, Pediatrics, or Psych nursing clinicals because those are next semester. Maybe one of those will jump out at me.  I just know that there are a whole lot of areas to nursing... and before I started nursing school I just thought a nurse was a nurse. HA! Serves me right for presuming, right? But really, the big question now is what do I want to be when I grow up? I thought that I had it all figured out...I'm going to be a nurse. But what KIND of nurse? It seems like every time I get my life all figured out and line everything up straight here comes another wind to shift things around. I can't wait for next semester, though... at least I'll finally get to experience working with children and infants. THAT should be interesting. Not to mention the psych rotation at the psychiatric hospital... now THAT is a dangerous job.  I can really see me coming home with black eyes all the time if I worked at a place like that.  Boy, I could REALLY pick on Ron then! LOL

I'm back to being sick today. I have no idea why I can't seem to shake this stupid head cold I have had. I wonder if it's really allergies? That would make a lot of sense. I do seem to always feel worse in Texas than I have when we've lived other places. Damn cotton plants! LOL Or maybe the wheat? Hay? Who knows what it is. I'm just super-tired of my nose always being clogged up and runny, and my head feeling all gross all the time.  Someday I'd love to have a month of feeling perfect.

Day 96: December 1st, 2009

Quote of the Day: "I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today." -Og Mandino

The weather is really, really icky outside today. It has been cold and rainy all day long, and they say that tonight is supposed to be a low of 36 with a rain/snow mix. I've been keeping the heater off the whole time, no matter how cold it was outside, but today I finally decided that one day of having warm hands wouldn't be a bad thing, so I turned it on.  It was 58 in the house when I did, DEFINITELY not a comfortable temperature.  BARELY not comfortable, but it's been staying 60 in here for the last three weeks, so a little warmth isn't a bad thing.

You know, I’ve noticed lately that every fall, our yard gets “professionally” de-thatched and stirred up. For FREE! And it is, quite literally, an every fall thing. I walk outside every day in the spring and summer and the grass is all pretty and perfect and green. Then all of a sudden fall hits, and I start seeing little patches of dirt and grass pulled out. Just a small patch, here and there- nothing to really worry about. Until the next day, when there’s a little more, and on and on it goes as fall progresses, until one day I walk outside and see that most of the grass in my yard is now, literally in the yard, not attached to the yard. And how, you may ask, does this happen? Well, I’ll tell you… it’s Chloe! That supposedly sweet and innocent dog that never does ANYTHING wrong according to the guys in the family has developed a particular fondness for those grubs that live in the dirt, and with her supersonic hearing she listens for them and then digs them out and eats them! And in the process, turns our yard into this really huge mess. Sometimes it makes me want to choke her! Like we don’t have a hard enough time keeping the weeds out??? We are going to have to SERIOUSLY take matters into our own hands and spend some money on pest control if we ever want to have a nice yard. Or get rid of the dog, which after her chewing up the moulding at the back door and destroying the yard I am starting to think is an option. Stupid dog. Between the dogs and cats, I’m going a little crazy here!

Day 95: November 30th, 2009

Quote of the Day: "Leaders make decisions that create the future they desire." - Mike Murdock

I did not get around to doing the Christmas lights today, in case you are wondering. I spent most of the day doing miscellaneous things. I went to the gym this morning with Sherrie and got in a really good workout, then we stopped into WalMart because she needed some things and I found that stuffing from Thanksgiving on clearance at 78 cents a box, so I picked some up for Ron.  Then after talking to him online for a while and having him tell me how to check the water heater to make sure the heating elements and thermostat were still working because we have no hot water in the kitchen.  So I move Damien's old car out of the garage, pull down the ladder to the attic and get up there.  And guess what I found?  See that little brown spot? That means that the control panel is fried.  See where there's suppose to be a green light that's lit up meaning it's working? No green light. Dangit.  So I spent most of the rest of the day trying to figure out when it was bought, how it was paid for, so that I could get the Whirlpool people to come fix the darn thing, because it's still under warranty, because we bought it in June.  The problem is that I have no receipt for it, no owner's manual, no NOTHING for it. So I'm quite literally up a creek until those things are found. Otherwise, they can say "Well, you have no proof of when you bought it, so your warranty is invalid." I guess there is something to registering a product with those little postcard things after all... I could have saved myself a LOT of work today. 

Oh, sure, I could always call it in under our home warranty program we purchased, but I'd rather not do that since the darn thing is still under warranty, and the home warranty program has a $50 service call fee. Or is it $60? I can't remember. Sigh.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  I also had to go in and get an insurance replacement for Cody's phone.  I tried to look for the cheapest  phone they have, but they won't let me re-do his contract and I would have to pay full price for it, and their cheapest phone is $150. Sigh.  So I spent the $39 for an insurance replacement.  I can't wait to get out of school and get a job so that we can support these two children that are always up to no good. This has DEFINITELY been a bad year, as far as money goes... and lately it seems it's really going as fast as he makes it. Just six more months to my RN degree and a job.... I can make it, I can make it, I can make it!!!

There is something good to talk about finally, though... Cody's room did finally get cleaned up.  Gotta love it! Here are some pictures for you to look at, since it most likely won't be like that for long.... ;) hehehe

Hey, look... there IS a floor in there!!!!! Oh, my gosh! And all this time I thought we'd picked up our carpeting from the city dump!

Day 94: November 29th, 2009

Quote of the Day: “What shall I do with all the days and hours That must be counted ere I see thy face?

How shall I charm the interval that lowers Between this time and that sweet time of grace?”

~Frances Anne Kemble

I got up this morning to a very dark, cloudy, dreary day. My first thought was “Well, I guess I’m off the hook for doing Christmas lights today… The forecast said cloudy and windy with showers and a high of 54. So… maybe a better idea would be cleaning up the house and baking bread, instead?”

And then I thought, “Oh, wait…. Better check the three-day forecast…. Hmm. Tomorrow is sunny and 60 for a high, but Tuesday is going to be just like today. Sigh. That only gives me one day to get it ALL done. Maybe I’d better suck it up and get out there in a little bit and just do it, huh? I guess I can go out there and throw a net or two onto the bushes, right? In between rain, that is. Then I’ll just hook them all up to the power all at once, and that would give me all day tomorrow to set up the ground lighting that took Ron FOREVER to do last year. As for the ladder and doing the roof, well… you can’t climb a wet ladder safely, so that will have to be put off until tomorrow.”

I should have known that I should have pushed myself to do the lights yesterday! UGH! I guess the moral of the story is that when Carmen doesn’t want to do something she can find a million and one reasons why it shouldn’t be done. HAHAHA! But seriously, tomorrow will be better for it, so maybe it’s best that I didn’t do it.

Instead, I spent the day doing miscellaneous things around the house. I put self-closing hinges on the bathroom doors to keep the cats out of there. I fixed up the mantle in Christmas stuff so that it looks a little more like it fits in with the tree. I watched some TV.  I’ve done some laundry. I’ve cleaned up some of the mess. All in all, it’s been a semi-productive day. Tomorrow morning first thing I have got to get up and get outside to put up some lights, but today is for cleaning and maintenance. And of course, it’s also for the ever-popular “dreaming up of ideas to do to the house to make it nicer.”

Today’s thought is regarding the inadequate kitchen lighting, and how nice it would be to take out the lights that are in there and put up some recessed lighting. And I also finally decided that over Christmas break I’m going to utilize the paint we bought LAST YEAR to finally paint the backsplash in the kitchen. The only reason that I haven’t done it yet is because I find it a little bit intimidating because of all the prepwork that HAS to be done right to get it to stick without flaking off or being weak enough to scrub off when you wash down the tile. Just one more thing to keep me busy and keep my mind off things, yes, but you never know what other ideas I might come up with if I don’t have something to do. Right?

And I finally got Cody to start cleaning up his room! I went in there and took out the extra bed, leaving him with just one bed. Then I just told him that he has until bedtime to have his room clean because all day tomorrow Mom’s going to be at home, bored, with nothing to do… except box up everything in his room that I find to put in the trash. So he has been pretty much in his room cleaning since then. You can actually see the floor!!!