Day 93: November 28, 2009

Quote of the Day: “To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment.” ~George Lansdowne

Okay, I just got done killing myself on the bike again... 14.58 miles! WOOHOO!!!! My endurance is definitely getting better! Soon I'll be able to do 30 miles a day, like I did when I was sixteen! Oh, well... maybe not with the body I had at sixteen, but so what! Right? Getting healthy HAS to be worth something, right?  Besides, I snacked all day long, so I have to do something to counteract that.  I did buy my first Coke in months this morning, and was kind of looking forward to drinking it, but I could only take two small swallows of it and couldn't stand the taste any more.  I guess I've gotten kind of used to water now, since I've been drinking it so much more.  Almost 3 liters, today! My mother would be so proud of me!

I never got around to doing the Christmas lights out front today. I have found that it's going to be easier to do if I just get up and go right out there, because otherwise I find things that need to be done first. This morning, it was that I got up and had to immediately run to the grocery store for dog food, because the girls were out. And then, once I got back, Cody was playing a game on his phone and threw a temper tantrum because he was losing. And like a total retard, he threw his phone like a two year old and the display is now broken. WITH no money to fix it. So now, not only do I have a brand-new phone broken, with no way that insurance will cover it, but I have a thirteen year old that has no phone, so he is grounded until I decide that he can be mature. And that is all ON TOP OF the money he ran up for those songs and applications he downloaded onto his new phone without permission. That he will no longer have access to, by the way. So even though he's the screwup, I'm still the ultimate loser because I have to pay for the phone to be fixed if it can be, or buy him a new phone, and also for the programs and songs that he cannot even access any more.  Totally uncool.  Where the hell does he get this, anyways?

I did not do anything much at all today, as a matter of fact, other than take the boxes and bins that were emptied up into the attic.  I figure tomorrow is plenty of time to get the outdoor lights done, and if not then there's always Monday and Tuesday. My classes do not resume until Wednesday. Soooo, I have no worries about getting things done.  It felt good to talk to Ron today, though.  I was able to get a lot of my frustration off my chest and it felt good just to talk to him.  I miss him so much sometimes that it's crazy!  But he's doing a good thing, so I don't mind sharing him once in a while. Too bad that this particular once in a while will be so long, that's all.  It's funny how no matter how upset I am he always knows how to make me feel better. (Unless he's the reason I'm upset, that is! hehehe)

Oh, and by the way, I am putting a transcript on here of some test messages that went back and forth between Damien and I this afternoon, just in case. These things are time and date stamped, so if something happens the proof will be "on the blog", so to speak:
Damien: "Be careful mom. Certain individuals have threatened harm to me and my family. Keep an eye out and be careful. Please?" Nov 28, 4:29pm

• Carmen: "What certain individuals?" Nov 28, 4:29pm
• Damien: "Rachael's family. And it isn't related to her, just threatening me and wanting me to stay away from her. Don't worry, I won't do anything." Nov 28, 4:30pm
• Damien: "Will you be careful, though?"Nov 28, 4:47pm
• Carmen: "How, Damien? I will not live in fear. It's just bluster. Another reason I don't like your relationship." Nov 28, 4:48pm
• Damien: "*sighs* im not saying me afraid. Im just saying keep an eye out. They are pretty stupid if you recall." Nov 28, 4:49pm

I'm pretty sure it was just an empty threat, more psychotic drama.  The only reason I'm putting this crap on here is because if something actually DOES happen to our house or cars or whatever, I want it known that this conversation occurred so that I can tell them who to suspect.  But I can tell you that it has been a really bad day for me, and I seriously wish we had never moved back to this place. Damien was much better off ANYWHERE but here.  I just wish he'd grow a brain and get away from that girl and her psychotic family.  But he "thinks" he's in "love". How stupid can a person be? Never mind, don't answer that. I already know the answer to that.

Day 92: November 27, 2009

Quote of the Day: "The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents, and none of the incidents as disasters." – Harold Nicholson

That being said, we have just had another "incident" today. I opened up my email right before getting on here to do the blog, and you'll never guess what I found. My Verizon Wireless bill has arrived.  And lo and behold, the bill has finally gotten here for Cody's utter stupidity.  He ran up $277 in downloads before I noticed it a couple weeks ago and called and had them block him from doing any of that.  AGAIN with the costing us an arm and a leg! I could KILL him for that! GRR!!!!  Thank God they blocked it when they did, or it could have been a LOT worse... like another thousand dollar bill! I swear, I am about ready to take his phone away completely and just give him a pager.

I managed to get the Christmas tree up today, so tomorrow it's on to the outside decorations. I'm NOT looking forward to that at all, but it's got to be done. And by the way, I honestly don't think that the blue and silver tree looks very good in this house. I like the red and gold a lot better with our paint colors and decor.  I'll be getting a better picture tomorrow, once I have the room cleaned up and all the empty boxes on there, but here's a preliminary picture. Not too bad, but it just doesn't "pop" like my red and gold does.  That, and I don't have many accents for a blue and silver tree. Just the tree itself. Sigh.  So I'll either have to buy a whole bunch more decorations, or stick with the red and gold. Next year, I think maybe I'll go with the family tree. I think Ron would get a kick out of that.

These are just some quick pictures, I'll get some better ones later!

Day 91: November 26th, 2009

Quote of the Day:

"I thank God for the way he made you, distinct, special and unique. You were not made from a common mold." - Erwin W. Lutzer

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family! Today has been a pretty good day. I got up and started making banana bread early this morning... I woke up with a  case of the jump-ups! I just couldn't bring myself to stay in bed, because I wanted to make sure that I got a good start on the bread before it came time to put in the turkey and start on all the other things.  I accidentally made a mistake when I was making it, though.  I was doubling my recipe, and doubled everything but the bananas. I didn't remember until the last pan was in the oven. I tasted the first one cooled, though, and it wasn't bad, so I guess it turned out okay.  I've got to make some more of that, plus some beer bread, soon, but went ahead and froze the remaining bananas because now that Thanksgiving is over I have to do the Christmas decorations tomorrow.  And who KNOWS how long that will take me, since the outside is Ron's job. I'm an inexperienced outdoor-lightsman ever since he took it over... can't remember what goes where and all that jazz!!!

The kids got along pretty well today overall, and there was only one little incident that threatened the day.  We actually had a good meal, with the exception of.. the green bean casserole! UGH!  I made it, and we ate it, but as we were eating it we were a little confused because something just tasted "off" about it. And then it hit me... I haven't made it with canned green beans in FOREVER. So the taste was really different, and I vow that I will be going back to fresh green beans from now on. Yuk!  I also didn't have enough brown sugar to do the sweet potatoes with, but made do and they turned out okay, but nothing to write home about.  And the turkey... ugh!  Let's face it... I am NOT a good turkey carver. I'll leave that in Ron's capable hands. We're only getting a ham for Christmas dinner - it's hard to massacre that!  But no one got burned, or hurt in any way, or food poisoned... or choked... so... I'm thankful that we all made it through this Thanksgiving unscathed! LOL

Sometimes it was hard to imagine ahead of time in the days coming up to the holiday that I'd be flying solo for it. It's been a while since that has happened. And I did not like it one bit. It just doesn't feel like a family without Ron around, no matter how many traditions we try to keep.  It's hard to describe it, but the closest I can come is to compare it to that disjointed feeling that you get when you  have forgotten something, and know that there's something you forgot, but can't remember what it is. You know, the feeling that follows you along all day in the back of your mind, tormenting you, like a word that's right on the tip of your tongue all day long.  And just like that, you wake up in the  middle of the night and blurt the word out, wondering why you couldn't remember it in the first place. That's what I'm waiting for now, for that middle of the night realization to come that tells me that our family is now home together again.  But since it's Thanksgiving day, I need to say that the one thing in the world that I am most thankful for is the time I have had with Ron, whether here or deployed.  Every day since January of 1992 has been my most favorite day, because it's been a day that I can look at him and thank God for sending him to me to take care of me, and for me to take care of.  And I guess I'm a little thankful for hot water and the internet, too, but let's not get too hasty.

I never did get up into the attic and start getting out the Christmas decorations, because we all sat down and watched a movie together after dinner and then I rode that stupid bike 11.72 miles to try and counter all that food that I devoured today. I just know my weight will be up tomorrow, probably a lot, but hey... it's a holiday.  I really enjoyed every bite of it, even if the turkey got cold quick and the rolls were a little bit dry.  Tried a new stuffing this year, with cranberries in it and LOVED it, so right there is about a pound because I couldn't help myself and had two big helpings of it. I will buy it again if I can find it, but in the meantime, ugh... Now I'll have to work harder tomorrow too. Sigh.  I'll take pictures tomorrow of the lights if I get them done in one day.  If not, you may just end up waiting a day or two, but I'll put them on here.

Anyways, I hope everyone had a great meal with good friends and family, and for those of you away from home, that you were safe and enjoyed your extended brothers and sisters in uniform.  God bless you all for doing what you can to make the world a little better for those who are clueless or helpless.

Day 90: November 25, 2009

Quote of the Day: "Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." ~Charles M. Schulz

It has been a pretty good day in my little corner of the world today, unlike some of the people I know.  I officially started my day this morning by going to the gym with Sherrie, and we had a really good workout. I climbed 53 floors on the stairmaster! UGH!  But I worked through my knees hurting, and it was good.  Then we went to the Commissary and I picked up some things for Ron that I think he'll enjoy.  I can't WAIT to send them to him... it'll be really great for him, and I also got a whole bunch of bananas at 25 cents a bag, so I'm going to make banana bread to send to him so that he can have enough to share with all the guys over there.  I'd imagine they really would like something homemade for the holidays, and if not, well, at least it's something they can snack on.  I'll also be making some beer bread to send to him, so that will be good too.

But poor Sherrie and Laurie are having a really bad day today.  Sherrie went to bake her pumpkin pies this evening for tomorrow, to get them ready, and found out that their stove is now broken! How awful is that!!!! Ron and I know all about having broken appliances on Thanksgiving from having our great freezer thawout a few years back. When my pumpkin pie in the freezer melted all over ALL the foods in the freezer. Didn't matter anyways, because it was mostly trashed, but there also was the year that my Corningware with the stuffing in it exploded all over the kitchen in Japan.  THAT was actually pretty funny, though, and we got a good laugh.  Once we had cleaned up all the glass, that is.  And I'm thankful for our neighbors that were all getting together for Thanksgiving dinner, so that we at least got to eat some stuffing that year... I didn't have any more that I could make, remember that, Ron? Good times.

And Laurie... she called to say that she wasn't supposed to work today but got called in, and hit her head on a coat hook in one of the patient rooms when she went in to give the patient therapy, and had to go to the emergency room and get stitches in her head!  On a day when she wasn't even supposed to work.  Go figure, right? So that's two of my good friends that have had really rotten days, and I just keep wondering... am I next? Or one of my other friends?  It makes me sad for them regardless. I invited Mike and Sherrie to come have Thanksgiving dinner here, and they can use my oven if they want to, but they prefer to stay at home and enjoy the adventure... so Sherrie says that she may come tomorrow morning to do her pies and rolls, and they will attempt to BBQ their turkey.  Isn't that how memories are made, anyways?  Of course it is... you can tell by my own "exploding dish" debacle... I won't ever forget THAT Thanksgiving! HAHAHA

Other than that, I've been pretty low-key all day long. The kitchen is clean, there's just a few loads of laundry left to do, and I have to vacuum and mop the kitchen floor, and that's about it.  Such an EXCITING life I have, right? hehehe  Just wait... when I get out of school and am able to do some real fun things, and not just housecleaning and home things, the blog will be SO much better.   Although it will probably be a weekly thing, at that point.  This takes a lot of time, and I would have so much more fun giving a condensed version and being out in the world enjoying some things, whether it be shows, or who knows what.  I'm planning on getting a LIFE! And I know that Ron feels exactly the same, there are a LOT of things he would love to be able to do once in a while.   Like go to concerts. Or camping. Or fishing. Or travel. Or just... whatever we WANT to do. Whenever we aren't working. Or even better.... get new flooring!!!!!!  That would be great! To get rid of this disgusting carpet would be fantastic. Our biggest problem, though, is deciding whether to go with wood (which is in right now) or tile (which really isn't).  I like both, and so does Ron.  I think that wood would look better with the style of house, but am worried about durability. Sigh.  I guess we'll probably go with tile. UGH! Oh, well... maybe a little upgrade to the kitchen, instead? ;) New countertops and floors would go a long way to making it liveable and presentable... But again, one step at a time, right? LOL  I always do that, just get my head spinning full of ideas and spend thousands of dollars in my mind.  It's not MY fault that I have an imagination, though! Blame my parents!

I went outside today, and was surprised... the spanish flag I planted this past spring, that barely grew and then started to die out the minute it got cool without ever having bloomed.... IS NOW BLOOMING!!!!!! Can you believe it? It's so frustrating! I wish it would have bloomed the way it was supposed to. I think next spring I'll try again, but put it in a different spot so that it can maybe grow and bloom right. It really is a pretty vine, and I wish it had performed better. I think it just got too hot where I have it this year. I'll have to plant a hot-weather vine there next spring.  Anyone who has any ideas of a good heat tolerant vine, please let me know... I won't have much time to research it this time around.

Day 89: November 24th, 2009

Quote of the Day:

"Where'er I roam, whatever realms to see,

My heart untravelled, fondly turns to thee;

Still to my brother turns, with ceaseless pain,

And drags at each remove a lengthening chain."

~Oliver Goldsmith, The Traveller

Ever have one of those days, where nothing seems to work out the way you wanted it to? Well, today hasn't been one of those days! As a matter of fact, you'd have to HAVE a plan to have it not work out, right? Or at the very least do something.  I haven't really done much at all today, actually.  I cleaned the living room, did a couple loads of laundry.... nothing big.  It's been a really hum-drum kind of day, the kind where you just don't do much of anything. Sigh.  It sure is nice to not have to stress out about studying! Being able to just take my time with it... nice.

It was pretty nice outside today, from the little bit that I saw.  I mostly sat in my chair reading and  trying to get over this cold that has been plaguing me for the last couple weeks.  I think I'm actually on the mend, if you can believe that! LOL  It's about time!  I've almost got the house in order again, just in time to destroy it cooking Thanksgiving dinner, taking down the Thanksgiving decorations and putting up the Christmas ones.  THAT should be fun, right? I am actually almost excited about that one, but only because I just love to decorate. Not so much that, but even if it's sad I still love the holidays. I do, however, really wish I didn't have to do the OUTSIDE decorations.... TOTALLY not my thing. That whole climb-the-ladder thing just doesn't work for me. Plus, I don't know how to set up the white lights like Ron does... that's kind of scary to me too.

I'm not sure how in the world I'll get it figured out. I know I have to, but still.. I can't remember if some of them were on the timer, or if I'm going to have to remember every single day to turn them on. Sigh. I'll have to look at it when I'm a little closer to that time.  It makes me wonder, though... it seems like EVERY SINGLE YEAR we've been here, the day we put up the Christmas decorations outside are the coldest, wettest days... and lately, with ICE. I wonder if it will be that way this year? Because, seriously, if it is like that this year you can just forget it... I am WAY too much of a wimp to be out in that. I don't know how Ron does it, and I'm not convinced that I want to find out. Ya know?

I've GOT to get it in gear soon, though. Sherrie and I have made plans to do some scrapbooking during the Christmas break, since I will have much more time. I'll be going through my pictures so that I can decide which ones I want to make new pages of.  I have always dreamed of doing a family history album, but I don't have any pictures from Ron's mother's side, and very few from his father's side.  So that's out of the question, leaving me with all the pictures from when we moved to Texas the first time until now. That's a WHOLE LOT of pictures to go through.  I've also got a couple of other surprise things in the works to try and get done as well, so it should be interesting to see what all I can accomplish in that short time. I have high hopes for getting ALL of it done, but a lot of what I'm thinking about doing depends on finances. And the time constraints, of course. Who knows, maybe I'm putting too many irons in the fire. I'll have to wait and see. Right? LOL

Day 88: November 23rd, 2009

Quote of the Day: “I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart.” ~Albany Bach Reid

The blog is seriously late tonight, I know. I nearly forgot again, because the boys wanted to go see New Moon, so I took them to the theater to see it and I went and watched 2012 since I'd already SEEN New Moon and thought it would be a waste of money to see it again, especially since I plan on buying it when it comes out on DVD. But 2012 was a GREAT movie too, definitely right up our alley. It's the kind of movie that Ron and I both really, really enjoy watching... tons of natural disasters! It actually really does make you think, in a way.  That's the reason that we watch them. It gives you a little bit of "what-if" to think about, and it's a way to remind you that no matter what you do or how safe you are, there isn't always a guarantee. I think that's what we love the most about those movies, anyways. Speaking for myself. I really can't honestly tell you if that's Ron's reason or not, and I don't dare to speculate... sometimes the inner workings of his mind can be downright scary! HAHAHA

Our next door neighbor mowed our front yard today. I was just sitting in my chair reading with major medicine head, and I kept hearing a lawnmower.  It didn't really hit me that it kept sounding closer and closer for a while, but he had been mowing his own yard, and decided to be nice and mow ours too.  Either that, or he thought it was getting too tall?  Nah, not really.  It wasn't, but you know how my mind works... if someone does something nice for me, I have to figure out all the alterior motives they might have.  And I HAVE been meaning to go mow it once I start feeling better. The entire yard hasn't grown a bit, except for the two small patches of wild grass that we haven't been able to kill yet... those were about three inches tall.  The rest was normal, though, which is why I wasn't out there doing it while I was sick. Definitely not worth it, if you ask me.  I know that I appreciate him doing it for us, but at the same time I have that "I should have done that" guilt going on.  I guess I'll have to write him a thank-you note.

I went to the gym with Sherrie again this morning and tried yet again to kill myself.  I'm getting better at it or something, though, because it didn't hurt as badly as the last time we went.  We had to go to WalMart on the way home because Sherrie needed to pick up some things to make pumpkin pies for her church for Thanksgiving, so I went ahead and picked up a turkey and some other things for Thanksgiving dinner. And guess who I ran into while I was there? Tiffany! She and her mother were there shopping also, and it was good to see her for that few minutes even if I was a little distracted because I was feeling rushed.  She'll be coming over tomorrow to pick up our baby gate so that they can use them for the puppies.  She says they're getting really big now, and I can't wait to see them again. And no, Ron, I won't break my promise and bring one home. I'm not a glutton for punishment! LOL

Oh, and I had my follow-up dental appointment today, which REALLY irritated me.  I've been sick as a dog for the last few days, and had to drive an hour and a half round-trip to Lawton, and pay $1.50 at the toll booth for each leg of the trip, just to spend 5 minutes in a chair while a dental assistant looked at my mouth and decided that things were coming along nicely.  Not even the dentist!!! I was miserable, running a fever, couldn't breathe, and had a sinus headache bigger than Texas, and had to struggle through the drive just for five minutes.  Five minutes... seriously? Are you kidding me? LOL

Day 87: November 22nd, 2009

Quote of the Day: “In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged.” ~Hans Nouwens

Today has been a really long, really boring day of trying to get over this stupid illness that is plaguing me. I can't seem to shake it, no matter what medicines I take.  I guess it was about time, since I really haven't been sick since well before last Thanksgiving, that I can remember. No, not before it, maybe, but close.  Let me think a minute... who was my clinical instructor when I last got sick?  Oh, that's right, it was spring semester. So it's been half a year.  Sigh.  Still, I'm not really one to get sick, so when I do it really takes it out of me.  But on the plus side I have already read New Moon, and just finished Eclipse today. I'll be starting on Breaking Dawn tomorrow.  I am not usually one to re-read a book I've already read before, but there are three series which I WILL do that for... Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear series, JK Rowling's Harry Potter series, and now Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series.  Other than that, I'll pick the books up after having read them and they bore me.  Something about those three series, though, makes me just want to read them over and over.  I haven't figured out what the characters have in common, except that in all three the main character is kind of shy, bullied, and a geek, then later grows into a very powerful and brilliant character. Maybe that's what it is... my subconscious desire to be powerful and cool! HAHAHA

Nah, it's just the excellent writing. ;)

Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment up at the dentist's office in Lawton.  I'm kind of excited to get it over with and done, so that I can go ahead and have my cavities fixed and all that.  It'll be great to get that done and not have to worry about it for a little while. And to have things back to normal, to where I feel comfortable smiling again. THAT would be great, huh?  Not that it's too much of a hindrance right now, but there's nothing better than the fresh-from-the-dentist look. Though they won't be polishing or whitening my teeth, so I'm not sure what exactly I'm all excited about.

I mean, really... who doesn't LOVE the sound of that drill grinding into their teeth!