For those of you who are not aware, my father passed away on the 3rd. His burial was yesterday, and I have spent most of the last week in deep thought about what "could have been" and what "should have been." I'm sorry that this is such a downer, but I had the urge to bare my soul. Read on if you are into tear-jerkers.
Reflections in the pool of life-
Wisdom countered, words of strife.
Haunting sorrows, endless rage,
Eternity spent inside a cage.
Longing for freedom, desperate for relief,
Fruitlessly wishing for an end to the grief.
Justice imbalanced, burdens so deep,
a heart grown so weary, no hope left to keep.
Bitterness, loneliness, confusion and pain,
fear, trepidation, a lonely, cold rain.
Trapped by a mind so riddled with mistrust,
wanting to be loved yet getting trampled to dust.
Need to belong, yet pushing others away,
making them leave while wishing they'd stay.
Confusion so twisted, such painful awareness,
creating devastation while praying for bliss.
Such a wonderful person trapped by self-hate,
So deserving of love, yet knocked down by fate.
Wanting to break free of the chains on his soul,
unable to breathe and so out of control.
Reaching out for love while he pushes you away,
a life of being treated unfairly has ended today.
-C. Nason, 2010